One line or two?

Ultrasound results are back and everything is perfect–no PCOS! Guess I’m a fertile Myrtle after all.

So tell me… why 56 days since my last period?

I have already spent a bajillion dollars on home pregnancy tests during the long weeks between periods, but I guess I’ll waste another $7 today to ease my mind.

I’m sure I’m not pregnant. I can’t recall a tryst when it could have happened, since we’re using good old fashioned latex until I can start birth control again.

Can you imagine a 347-pound pregnant woman? Oh my god, that just can’t happen.

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