Meridia Day One

It’s 9:22 am, and I just took my very first dose of Meridia. If you don’t hear from me ever again, assume I had a heart attack and died. This shit is scary!

But since I haven’t dropped dead yet, I might as well fill you on my continued use of alli. Let’s just say this past week brought lots of, um, treatment effects. Obviously, I need to get the fat content in my meals waaaay down.

I want to tell you the nitty gritty details of this week’s alli escapades, but with my real name and photo attached to this website, a tiny bit of censorship is in order. I’ll just give you a few words or phrases, and you can imagine the rest: uh oh! orange explosion. lunch hour women’s restroom. decision: go commando (and risk a second accident going directly to pants) or take scissors to underwear and then turn them backwards.

I won’t tell you what I decided. But I took my office scissors home that night and ran them through the dishwasher.  My husband recently took an intensive food safety course on pathogens and cross-contamination, and now megameggs = germaphobe.

Last thought: is it safe to take Meridia and alli/Orlistat together? Meridia works on the brain to control hunger, and alli works in the gut to block fat absorption, so it seems to me that I should be safe. I can’t find any information that contraindicates the two, but who knows. Again: if I’m not back soon, I’m dead. Just follow the path of orange grease droplets to find my body.

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4 Responses

  1. oh my! i feel badly for laughing at your obvious trauma, but, woo, what an entertaining paragraph you shared regarding your office scissors! good luck with this stuff.

    deb

  2. Deb, I’d laugh at me too if I didn’t think I’d LEAK! : )

  3. Alas, I do remember those greasy orange droplets. Had the same thing as you happen to me at work. Lucky for me I was sitting in a leather chair. If it were fabric, I would have been screwed because everyone in the world would know forever more that I had pooped my pants!

  4. […] until I pulled into the driveway. Soon after, my butt exploded. Seriously, that stuff is almost as scary as […]

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