Back in the Saddle

I’ve been so overwhelmed with my body the last few days, I haven’t even wanted to touch the computer which is SO unlike me. In my laziness, please excuse the bulleted list:

  • First, Happy Belated Birthday to Kim!
  • Met with my sleep apnea specialist on Monday of this week, and he’s convinced that I don’t need another sleep study, I just need my tonsils removed. (Are you freaking kidding me?? ANOTHER SURGERY? Gah!!!) But heck, I’m on liquids anyway, might as well make the most of it. I don’t know how I feel about this, but I won’t see the ENT (ear, nose, throat) specialist until the end of February and we’ll take it from there. At least if I get it done before April 1st, it won’t cost me a dime since I’ve met my $3500 out of pocket max through surgery. More to come on this saga…
  • Protein sucks. I’ve tried a million things, and I’d love to tell you about each and every one, but I just can’t muster any more brain space discussing the crap right now. Still, I’m reaching about 60 grams a day (I should really be getting 80). I can just imagine going bald right now….
  • My doctor’s office sucks even more than protein. I have a fantastic surgeon. One of the best in the country. Director of the bariatric program at his hospital. But that means I never get to see him. He does surgeries, not follow up. So at my one week appointment, I waited 3 HOURS to see some guy I’ve never met. He took my staples out, barely listed to me complain about my G tube (which I’m now convinced is infected… I’ll spare you the details), for a grand total of about 5 seconds. I hate being held prisoner waiting ridiculous amounts of time for inconsiderate asshole doctors. Plus, the staples right at my belly button were removed and the incision isn’t healed AT ALL. My skin is completely flayed open there. Can’t be good, but whatever. He just said “don’t scrub too hard.”
  • And I’m mad because, after waiting for 3 hours, they had no appointments left to see me in Orlando for my 1-month check up and G tube removal. So I have to go BACK to Ocala and wait an extra 2 days to get this crap out. Oh well.
  • And I’m worried about all my sick and vacation time. I had planned for 3 weeks out, but now that we’re talking tonsil removal, I’m considering going back to work on Monday to save some sick time. I feel okay, just low on energy.
  • And I have this big awesome conference presentation next Friday, and I’m SO thinking about cancelling it. I don’t feel like writing right now. But if I take next week off as planned, I can work on it then. I know I should just do it. It’s an important event with long-lasting benefits.
  • And my poor husband has a hernia, so we’re also scheduling doctor’s appointments and surgery and time off for him. He’s thrilled because he’ll get some time off of work, but I’m worried about whether I’ll be able to have time at home with him. I really should go back to work next week so I don’t have to neglect him after his surgery.
  • And for some reason, I’m irritated at my place of employment for not sending me flowers. Isn’t that stupid? But we ALWAYS send people flowers. I know it shouldn’t bother me, but for some weird reason, it does.
  • Today I pick up a new kind of CPAP machine (an auto-pap) from the doctor’s office which will tell my sleep doctor exactly what my new setting should be without having to do a sleep study. So that’s cool. Good sleep would be nice!
  • And today I also go back to my psychiatrist. I can feel it… I’m going to cry! I’m just really emotional right now.
  • I started vitamins yesterday: love Bariatric Advantage brand so far except for the Sublingual B12. For some reason, it doesn’t dissolve under the tongue like it should. I prefer the store-bought brands I’ve tried in the past. Everything else is yummy!
  • My husband has been eating like a pig. It kind of makes me sick. It’s as if he’s eating for both of us right now. Or maybe he always ate this much and I didn’t notice because I did too? I mean, he’s like constantly thinking about what he wants to eat next. It’s kinda gross. He definitely misses having me as his eating buddy. I have to keep reminding him that I’ll be able to eat again, it will just take a while.
  • Weight today is 288 pounds. I haven’t lost 15 pounds like Lacy, but heck, it’s moving in the right direction. A few more pounds to my first reward!
  • Lots of family drama with everyone learning about my surgery after the fact. In the hospital, the only people who knew were my parents, sister, bro-in-law, and husband. Everybody else was informed later. I’ll have to tell you about that some time.
  • Still, despite all the hardship thus far, I don’t regret having surgery. This is not easy. It sucks. But it will get better.



3 Responses

  1. Oh wow, I can completely relate about the office and lack of acknowledging your surgery… mine has done that to me before as well.

    I think that everything you’re going through is normal – it’s a lot of change that you really can’t totally prepare for pre-surgery… and it takes some time to adjust your life to it.

    I think I went through the same thing with my husband eating after my surgery – I still get jealous from time to time – but other times it makes me laugh because he eats 3 or 4X as much as I do… but I think for people without this surgery – it’s normal. We’re the exception to the rule now.

  2. Thank you for the update…though my birthday was a really long time ago…like July…did you see my blog and maybe see me wishing Laura a Happy bday?

    I would be annoyed over the flowers too, especially if your company always sends them! Sheesh! Sorry to hear about the tonsils, but though mine were out as a kid, I remember recovery being easy…but I was six, so who knows.

    Have you tried here for protein??

  3. i was wondering about you, girlie!

    I’m glad to hear that you got into the doctor, but annoyed for you about their lack of attention.

    as for the protein, don’t feel bad. I haven’t got in over ten grams in the past four days. I haven’t been able to stomach it. today, I’m gonna give it the old college try again and try and hit sixty at least.

    had the 2 week check up, and I’m up to 18 lbs lost, which blows my mind. you’ll hit it and you’ll be amazed.

    i’m thinking of you, and sorry for this rough period. I so know how it feels.


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