Back to work

I’m back to work, back to the grind, back to the stress. But I’m managing it as best I can, silently high-fiving myself for not trying to take any classes this semester because oh. my. gosh. that would have been stupid.

Great news! I GOT THE FELLOWSHIP!!! Yep, that’s right, I’ll be a doctoral student for FREE beginning in August. Hallelujah!

Not-so-great news: I somehow gained a pound yesterday. Now I know it’s no big deal, we all fluctuate, whatever. I know I drank an extra 17 ounces of water yesterday because I was just plain thirsty. I know my body is healing and hanging on to every pound and fighting me all the way, but that eventually it will lose. This weight is going to come off. But still, gaining a pound is a little traumatic for someone whose weight loss has been slow to begin with. At 3 weeks + 1 day out, I’m down only 15 sad little pounds. I’m getting all my protein, all my water, and maybe another 200 calories throughout the day… at only 800 calories, the pounds should be shedding off like water!

But, alas, my body has a long memory. I think it recalls anorexia at 15. It knows what’s happening, and it’s trying to conserve every possible things. It also remembers about a bazillion crash diets, and my body’s just waiting for the binge that usually comes on the tail end of a restrictive diet. My body doesn’t realize yet that this is for real.

So I’m just plugging along, sticking to the rules, and trying not to fret about every little ounce.


2 Responses

  1. How often are you weighing? I made myself crazy for weeks weighing everyday… and getting depressed about all the little ups and downs that come along with that. They told me from the very begining to not fall into that trap, but I did… and I’ve now restricted myself to only weighing on Sundays… it’s made my mornings a lot more peaceful!

    You’re probably right though – your body is still fighting it… mine still does from time to time, and I’m almost 3 months out… hang in there, and we’ll all be celebrating this time next year!!

  2. I agree with what Kim said. Everyone is going to lost at different speeds but what is for certain is that everyone is going to lose! I’d put away scale other than once a week, so you aren’t making yourself nuts. When I was dieting I fell into the trap of weighing in everyday and waiting for each pound to come off is like watching paint dry!
    You’re doing great and CONGRATS on the fellowship!

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