She lives!

Life has been so hectic this week that I went an entire WEEK without blogging. It’s almost like I’m a normal, non-internet-addicted person… weird!

The good news: I got my motorcycle, I’ve ridden it, I’m not injured, I’ve lost a couple of pounds, I’ve been at the gym like a workout fiend, my mom met me for lunch today, and all is well!

The bad news: I fell off my motorcycle (in the dirt, which is good news), I still haven’t taken any pictures of myself to post here, and MALTITOL KILLS.

So I’m supposed to be on soft foods until 8 weeks post-op, but I’ve found that pretty much anything qualifies as long as I chew it into oblivion. I’ve had the standard pretzels, crackers, deli turkey, crock-pot cooked chicken, soups, etc. But I’ve also had lettuce wraps, carrots, apples, pears, peanuts, almonds, ISS Oh Yeah! Protein wafers, and the inside of a Moe’s Homewrecker burrito (THREE times). Today, feeling all cocky about the ease with which all this delicious food has been digested, I tried one of the 1.76 oz Pure Protein bars I used to eat DAILY before surgery.

YE BE WARNED: 2 grams of sugar + 12 grams of “sugar alcohols” in the form of Maltitol = gastrointestinal Tourette’s Syndrome.  Thankfully, I ate it slowly on my drive home from work, and didn’t feel the churning until I pulled into the driveway. Soon after, my butt exploded. Seriously, that stuff is almost as scary as alli!

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6 Responses

  1. Meg…I had a similar butt explosion on The Outbacks’ “french onion soup.” It was the awfulest of the awful.

    glad you are alive and not dead on the side of the road!

    *huggles*

  2. Oh good, butt explosions to look forward to. YeeHaw, can’t wait!

    Glad you are alive and kicking! You got a motorcycle?? My husbad has wanted one for years and I always told him he couldnt have one unless he lost weight. Looks like a bike could be in our future….

  3. Hey Girl!! Glad to see you back.. yeah – I’ve totally avoided anything sugar free for that reason – I’ve heard REALLY bad things about it. So if I’m going to indulge – it’s something with real sugar… which I try to limit to not very often and very small portions.

    Glad to hear you’re doing well… be careful on the motorcycle!! You won’t always be near dirt to fall in!

  4. also…it just occured to me…EIGHT WEEKS for soft foods? Egad. I would loose my mind. I only had to wait four to six weeks, although technically, my barix book said almost eight too. But my nut released me and gave the go ahead.

    You are right though…anything can be soft if you chew long enough. 😉

  5. […] …http://www.sfweekly.com/2008-04-09/music/the-naked-ape-body-image-and-baboons-at-retox-loungeShe lives!She lives! Life has been so hectic this week that I went an entire WEEK without blogging. It??s […]

  6. Traditionally, American chicken soup was prepared using old hens too tough and stringy to be roasted or cooked for a short time. In modern times, these fowl are difficult to come by, and broiler chickens (young chickens suitable for broiling or roasting) are often used to make soup; soup hens or fowl are to be preferred when available.`

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