Bathing Suit Shopping

I’m a Florida girl. It’s like the law that I have at least one new bathing suit every season. I don’t get them for vacation, I get them for, like, weekly use.

My mother is the Bathing Suit Queen. Unlike me, she has been the same size for a number of years, so she has built up quite an extensive stylish swimming suit collection. You never know which suit she’ll show up at the beach in.

Our last trip to the beach was pretty pitiful. I wore the bottoms of an old tankini, with a black tank top and black bra from Lane Bryant. It looked like a bathing suit, but dudes: tank tops and bras do NOT dry like bathing suits do. One dip in the ocean and you’re soaked for hours I tell you! And my sister? She was even worse. She showed up at the beach in workout PANTS and a tank top. (Northerners, take note: we make fun of people who wear actual clothing to the beach.) My mom literally made my sister roll up her pant legs… it was just too embarassing to sit with someone in pants!

On the one hand, I know I need a new bathing suit. I’m going back to the beach next Wednesday with all my aunts and cousins since they’re out on spring break. Even more importantly, the entire family is heading out for a beach day on April 20th: this means aunts, cousins, and UNCLES. You have to impress your uncles. (totally kidding.)

But, on the other hand, I hate bathing suit shopping. Forget about the whole body image thing… it’s the freaking ridiculous prices for plus-size swimsuits nowadays that drive me batty! And some place cheap like Target? WHY ARE THEY OBSESSED WITH HALTER STYLE TOPS? The weight of my boobs would literally BREAK MY NECK.

So my mom, being the generous and ever-stylish gal that she is, offered up her Real Woman Dollars from Lane Bryant as an incentive to get myself a new suit. That means she’s serious–it’s time for me to be outfitted. So I met mom on my lunch break and we went hog-wild on the bathing suits. I swear, I tried on EVERY SINGLE ONE they had. Because you can never tell what will look best from the hanger. That’s rule #1, by the way.

I’ve always loved tankinis, but I did try a few 1-pieces too. Those Miracle Suits everyone sells? Not miraculous. (and $150?? Are you JOKING?).

I finally decided on a pink and black tankini (which has mysteriously disappeared from the Lane Bryant website since yesterday) and a skirt-type coverup as well. Since I can’t show you what the bathing suit looks like online, I might just have to post a picture of myself in it on Wednesday.

That’s a huge maybe.

But overall, a successful shopping expedition. And I am NOT unhappy about buying that size 20 either! (size 20 Old Navy jeans on today… woot!)


3 Responses

  1. Oh yay! super huge yay!

    I’m still a sad little puppy at size 24. I have NO clue why I’ve lost almost 45 pounds, and I still can’t get the dress size to go down. 😦
    Okay, i take it back…I was bustin’ out of my 24’s, more comfy in 26’s when I started this ride. Now, my 24’s are slightly loose…so I guess I pushed it too much.

    Size 20 is a beautiful dream! Maybe by fall, I’ll be where you are now. πŸ˜‰


    Oh, and I tried on swimsuits yesterday too…i still look ridiculous. πŸ™‚ I’m gonna give it a few months before I break out the skin tight spandex.

  2. Hmph, now I have to go Google tankini as I have no freakin’ clue what that is!

    I bought a suit several years, what I called the Hair Whale suit (long story and it involved alcohol in my late twenties). It had a skirt and I hated it. I wore it one time, felt like a cow and stuck it in the back of a drawer. Last summer, I fished the stupid thing out and wore it. I will be so glad to be rid of it one day soon.

  3. I haven’t owned a bathing suit since I was in junior high… geez… sad. Maybe you could lay the suit out on your bed and take a pic? That way we can be sure to see it if you decide you don’t want to show a picture of yourself? BUT… GIRL – you’ve lost 100 pounds!! Be proud!

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