Me? Seriously?

If I tell you what I did yesterday, you won’t even believe it. I barely do.

The day started normally: re-boot laundry (as it’s called using the FLYlady cleaning system), eat a protein bar, and head to the gym.

At the gym, I went a little crazy. I did my regular 30-minutes of interval on the cross trainer, but hit some kind of endorphin rush and wanted to keep going. The movie in the cardio theater was good, so I did a little stair climbing, some biking, and some more cross-training. It was a solid two-days worth of exercise. (Edited to add: I’d slacked off on the gym earlier in the week, so it really just evens out.)

When I got home, there was a voicemail waiting from my dad. See, my mom has this bible study group, and one of the ladies is having some kind of crisis, and she needed everyone to get together, but she also needed privacy. So dad was kicked to the curb for a couple hours.

His idea? Let’s go on a bike ride!

Reasons to say “Heck naw”:

  1. I haven’t been on a real (not stationary) bike since age… elevenish. That’s 15 years off a bike.
  2. Dad used to be a hard-core bike rider, so he’s got all this fancy gear and he’s used to it and he’s all “Push yourself!” all the time.
  3. Remember the tragedy of my girly bits LAST time I was on a bike at the gym? I swore them off forever.
  4. I don’t even own a bike.
  5. I had already done a double-workout at the gym.

Reasons to say “sure!”

  1. What else was I going to do, sit home and watch Tivo?
  2. Lee was working and I hate being home alone.
  3. I’m always up for a challenge.
  4. Dad had another bike I could ride.

So I went. I had exactly 15 minutes after getting home from the gym to get dressed and leave for the bike ride.

And you guys?

We rode freakin’ TEN MILES on those suckers!

My ass hurt the moment I got on that dang bike, but I didn’t want to be a quitter. So we rode. And rode. And rode. By the time we turned around to head back up the bike trail, my girly bits were in horrible pain. Dad let me rest after I threatened him with the inability to ever bear him grandchildren, and we were off again.

We went slow, because of me. Dad could have rocked it.

But still? I RODE TEN MILES ON THE BIKE TRAIL. Me!

Not only was it crazy-awesome to be physically ABLE to ride those 10 miles, but it was incredible to be working my body, outside in the sun, pushing through pain, and really challenging myself. Not to mention what that meant for food that day; before the bike ride, I had eaten 400 calories in protein bars, which left me in a calorie deficit considering calories burned at the gym.

When the ride was over, I was truly eating for FUEL. My body was depleted of glycogen. I chomped on watermelon until I couldn’t eat any more, restoring that balance. Eating purely for fuel. Stuff I NEEDED. I understand that what it’s supposed to be like all day, every day, but let’s face it… I spend a whole lot of time telling myself “I don’t really need that” or “I probably shouldn’t have that.” It feels so incredible to NEED the food you’re eating.

My ass hurts. Badly. But? We’re going to ride again. Maybe someday I’ll be one of those svelte women you see riding in all the gear with the kick-ass leg muscles and the great tan.

Because I could totally do it.

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Things that make you go “Hmmm…”

I’m reading yet another weight loss/nutrition book, and I won’t bore you with the details, but here’s a little something to think about.

Obesity specialist Dr. Gus Prosch says there are seven truths about obesity:

  1. If you’re obese, you have a lifetime disease.
  2. Your metabolic processes will always tend to be abnormal.
  3. You cannot eat what others eat and stay thin.
  4. Anyone can lose weight and stay slim provided the causes of weight gain are determined, addressed, and corrected.
  5. Understanding insulin metabolism is the key to losing weight intelligently.
  6. There is absolutely no physiological requirement for sugar or processed foods in your diet.
  7. You must address the contributing factors causing obesity (Rubin, 22).

And there it is.

Work Cited:

Rubin, Jordan. Perfect Weight. Strang: Lake Mary, FL 2008.

Reward time!

I hit 225.0 this morning and, according to my Reward System, I deserve a day at the beach!

No work today, no sir! Mom and I are heading over to the beach just as soon as I get back from the gym and take a shower. Yay!

Next up: 220 pounds = spending my last Lane Bryant gift certificate.

He’s Amazing!

I went to a friend’s baby shower this weekend and saw a bunch of people from high school, including my best friend from that era, Stephanie.

There’s nothing that erases all feelings of weight loss success like being around skinny people who have ALWAYS been skinny.

I know I’m my own person, with my own challenges in life, and my own set of circumstances. It doesn’t do any good to compare oneself to others.

But there’s something about being around people from high school that just makes me feel like a nobody all over again. I can’t get over Stephanie’s size-zero body and her new awesome fake boobs. She looked amazing. And tan! She never used to be tan!

The weird thing is, I know Stephanie felt bad too. Being around me, she’s reminded that she didn’t go to college. She still lives with her parents. She isn’t married. I know this girl SO well that I can physically SEE her feeling like she doesn’t measure up. Like she’s somehow behind in life. It’s so untrue.

I came home after the baby shower and changed my clothes. As I was undressing, I felt like total shit. My arms look like an 80-year-old woman’s. My stomach is getting flabbier. My thighs are saggy. I look disgusting!

That afternoon, Lee noticed a change in my attitude and asked if I was jealous of Stephanie or something. I said, “no!… well… actually, maybe. Yeah.” I can’t shake the insecurity that comes from knowing my body needs serious work. Work that I may never be able to afford.

Lee just called me today from work. He just wanted to tell me that he loves me, and when I feel down, he feels down too. He said I look great and I don’t need to feel bad. He’s not going anywhere and he loves me no matter what.

We hadn’t talked about this since Saturday. How did he know that at that moment, I was checking out the Plastics forum over at Obesity Help?

I have an amazing husband. Even if I no longer have amazing boobs.

5 Months

I’m 5 months out from surgery as of yesterday, and things are going quite well!

I’ve lost 71 pounds since surgery, 138 total. 86 pounds left to a normal BMI.

My weight loss has slowed somewhat. During month 1 I lost 22 pounds; month two, 11 pounds; month 3, 13 pounds; month 4, fourteen pounds; and month 5, I’m back to just 11 pounds lost.

I can’t afford a slowdown. I really, really want to lose at least 13 pounds over each of the next two months… that will put me at/below 200 before I start back to school. I don’t want to miss that goal.

So why the slow down this month?

Well, I’ve been pretty lenient with my food. Lots of popcorn and pretzels instead of nutritionally dense calories. That has got to stop. I need to learn that lesson NOW.

I also changed the workout routine to just 30 minutes of interval training, 5 days per week. Perhaps that isn’t the best plan. Working out a little longer may help kick the weight loss back in gear.

Also? It has been at least 3 weeks since I lifted any weights. Must get back on track with weights.

But at 5 months post-op, I feel good about what I’ve accomplished thus far. I’m complication-free, feeling great, and enjoying every little pound lost!

Sister sister

So since Rach is working on health & fitness now too, we talked about how we can do it together even though we don’t live near each other.

Neither one of us wants to do food logging back and forth (thank GOD!)

So here’s a format we came up with: Rach’s weigh-in day is Monday, so on Mondays we will either email or chat about the following:

Successes of the previous week: either good meals or workouts worth sharing, weight loss, etc. (I have a feeling I’ll also be sharing failures as well)

Goals for the following week: can be food, workout, or habit-related

And we also share our current weight. This is totally new for us. In our family, weight was always shrouded in secrecy, so telling the numbers is something totally different. I actually like it: no, I don’t want everybody to know how much I weigh (or worse: weighed!) but she’s my sister. We’re fighting the same fight together.

So we’ve talked about our goals up through Monday. We’ll check back in then, report on progress, set new goals for the next week, and then give each other feedback.

Who knows if this will be too structured or too frequent or whatever. We may totally change it up and do something different, but for now it’s what we’re trying. And I’m thrilled!

WEIRD

Tell me, has this ever happened to you??

Back story: I’ve experienced dumping. I ate some crackers once that led to (1) nausea, (2) extreme sleepiness, (3) gut-wrenching cramps, and then finally (4) some serious bathroom explosiveness. I’ve also experienced it when I ate half an apple, and then got so tired I almost couldn’t keep my eyes open to drive. I HAD to sleep for like 20 minutes and then I was fine.

So that’s that.

But just now? I ate one of my beloved Pure Protein bars, and weird things are happening. I am hotter than hot. I’m sitting in my air-conditioned office sweating like I’m at the gym (almost).

My boss came in with a question and I was fanning myself with a file folder and he looked at me like I’m nuts. I said, “I’m having a reaction to something I ate. It will go away soon.” And we proceeded like I was a normal human being.

Which I’m not.

I don’t feel nauseus. I don’t feel sick. I don’t feel gut-cramps churning. I am just extremely freaking hot.

My silk blouse is showing sweat marks on my inner elbow. NASTY!

WHAT THE CRAP?