Dear Coldstone Creamery,

I didn’t expect to be able to eat anything at your fine establishment so, first of all, thank you for creating your Sinless Sweet Cream confection. No, it wasn’t exactly mind-blowing, but I got to eat ice cream while my friends did too. Splenda-sweetened and non-fat? I thank you. Those might have been the yummiest 6 grams of protein I’ve ingested all year.

But 15 grams of sugar alcohols? HOLY MOTHER OF GOD, Coldstone, you nearly killed me! And I missed a good 30 minutes of Max Payne staring at the back of the bathroom stall door, praying that Sweet Jesus would come and save me from my own “max pain.” MISERY, I tell you!

Splenda-sweetened and non-fat is an excellent start. But I’d suggest consulting with Eggface on the rest before you blow any more bowels into oblivion.

Faithfully yours,



2 Responses

  1. Oh Meg… I totally get what you’re saying – I’ve had the worst experiences with sugar alcohol in the past… haven’t been brave enough to try it post surgery.

  2. Aw, this post was a bummer! I was ready to run right out to Coldstone Creamery until I read the second half! Thank you for that warning!! Did you really write to them?? We should!

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