9-month check-up

You know how I started out all determined to be the model bariatric patient? And how I’d follow every rule and do post-op care with my surgeon religiously?

The post-op care with surgeon part is going down in flames.

I actually went for my appointment last Monday and got yelled at for not updating my insurance information. They sent me home because they needed a week to verify my insurance information (what the crap?). But whatever. I asked for a copy of my labs and left.

It should have just ended there. My labs are good, except one of my liver enzymes is outside the “normal” range by one point.

But I did go back for my new appointment Monday of this week, and I was informed that I needed to pay $85. Now, I know my insurance like I know my own face. I know that I pay only 20% of the negotiated rate, even for specialists. But whatever, I just paid the $85 and figured I’d get a refund once the insurance claim was submitted. No big deal.

But when I met my physician, I realized I should have just stayed home. First of all, she’s not a doctor, but a nurse practitioner. Who has been working in the field of bariatric medicine for exactly two months.

Right. I know more about my surgery than she does.

But anyway, she proceeded to use the word “frickin'” at least ten times in our appointment. Now, I’m no stranger to questionable language, but in a doctor’s office? It came off incredibly unprofessional.

Not to mention the high praise. “Oh wooooow, I can’t believe how wonderfully you’re doing. You’re amazing. You’re incredible. You’re just…. wooooow.”

That is very helpful medical advice, thank you so very much. Actually, I’m way behind most people in terms of my rate of loss. But whatever.

“You’re at 62% of your excess weight lost already. Woooow. That’s frickin’ great.”

(Actually, I’m at 79% of excess weight lost when calculated from my highest weight and a goal of 145.)

She recommended:

  • No more protein bars. Just eat vegetables and fruit. (uhhh… I have no problem with fruits and veg’s, but don’t I need the protein?)
  • Forget the NuvaRing and use regular birth control pills. (Um, I’ll stick to what’s working for me and what’s recommended by my OB/GYN, thanks.)
  • I wondered if I should take more calcium. She said, and I quote, “not until you start getting horrible pain in your bones.” (Umm… that’s what I’m trying to avoid.)
  • She put the stethoscope to my heart and said, “Oh my God, has anybody ever told you about your heart? You have quite the murmor. But I’m sure you’ll be fine.” (HOLY CRAP, SERIOUSLY?! I’ve been worried about it all week.)
  • I also inquired about my goal weight on a printout they gave me. I said, “I think 126 would be a little low for me. I’m shooting for 145 instead.” She said, again I quote, “Nobody really makes it to the goal anyway, so whatever you’re comfortable with.” So inspirational.

I did learn, however, that my surgeon does do some plastic surgery procedures, including the brachioplasty which is my number one concern. So there’s that.

All in all, if this lady’s still around when my next appointment rolls around in 6 months, I’ll probably just start following up on labs with my PCP instead. I can’t really understand her, but at least she doesn’t say “frickin'” every other word.

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3 Responses

  1. Oh my gosh… I’m in complete shock! I’m so thankful that you are a highly intelligent patient – I worry for those out there that are less versed in the proceedure getting advice from her!

  2. That’s really fricken unfortunate… 🙂 Actually I would have probably said, “okay, we are done here” and walked out…kudos to you for having the patience of a saint and despite the onorthodox delivery, congratulations on having good labs…I go for my 6 month check up tomorrow…a month late and even thinking about my labs gives me hives! Fear much…YEP!

  3. Good grief. What a twit! Can’t you just request that you don’t want to see the moronic nurse practitioner again? Holy crap. Does she even know her ass from a hole in the ground when it comes to RNY? It sure doesn’t sound like it!

    I do three calcium chews a day, btw. I was doing two but my nurse practitioner, who knows her stuff and has been doing this for years, told me to up to three, if that helps you at all.

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