So the shrink says…

I’m so glad I went to counseling this morning, even if I did feel like I was far too busy to devote the time.

I got in there, started talking, and the flood gates opened. This is how I know I’m stressed: I cry. For no reason, except that I feel overwhelmed. It was embarassing, really, to have made so much progress over the last 10 months and then just completely buckle under the pressure of too many irons in the fire.

But really, it’s just that I’m scared. I’ve done this whole school-work thing before (though not at this level of intensity), and this is exactly when I begin to neglect my body. I see myself slipping into those habits, but I don’t want to do that any more. I just can’t.

If I was under the stress I’m facing today two years ago, I know exactly how I’d be coping: shoveling food into my face in an effort to zone out.

I can’t zone. And it’s hard.

The shrink’s solution? Quit working. Be a full-time student and focus on taking care of my body the way I want to. It’s makes perfect sense, and it’s a wonderful idea, except for, you know, the mortgage. And my student loan debt. And the fact that I’m not sure it would really solve anything since I do a lot of homework at work anyway. But it’s an idea, and I’ll be thinking about it. We’ll see.

I do know this: I have to take care of myself. Exercise, doctors, counseling, nutrition, planning. And crying sometimes.

Moving on!

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3 Responses

  1. Oh Meg – I so feel your pain… not probably in the exact way, but life can so easily get in the way of doing the things we need to be doing for a healthy body… and more than that – it’s SO incredibly easy to fall back into our old habits.

    Take an analytical look at everything and I know that you’ll figure out what works best for you. The great thing is that you’re recognizing the temptation to slip back into those old patterns and you’re talking about it. That right there demonstrates some changes from two years ago, right?

  2. Meg…I wish I had words of comfort but all I really have are words of encouragement. God never gives us more than we can handle. I will be praying for you girl…Jil

  3. I would be weighing all the pros and cons of working and what your options are. Can you maybe cut back on your hours while in school? I feared for you a bit when you announced this new insanely hectic schedule, simply because of the intensity of it. It’s a lot going on at one time for anyone, but throw in there that you are a WLS patient and the stress doubles!

    Yes, you are young and there is no doubt that you can continue doing what you are doing now for a time, but even twenty-somethings can burn out from not having any down time. You may need to prioritize the things you need, ie, exercise, sleep, Me time, and then find a way to get those things as they are what are going to keep you sane.

    You know I am always here if you need a sounding board!

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